When a Child Passes On. Twelve Messages for Their Loved Ones

From the website, http://www.soulproof.com

                            When a Child Passes On . . . 12 Messages for Their Loved Ones

I am very sorry for the passing of your loved one and all the pain and sadness that can go with it. That is one of, if not the biggest, changes a person can go through. When a child transitions, you can grieve horribly for the rest of your life and no one will judge you for it. But there’s another way. Some bereaved parents have been able to upgrade their emotions of sadness, anger, and pain toward higher energy ones such as gratitude for their time together, enthusiasm about seeing each other again, and loving service to others. Here are twelve keys to moving in that direction . . .

1. Remember that no one really dies. Yes, the physical body died. However, that outer shell is much less than 1% of who and what he actually is. The rest—all the love, energy, consciousness, intelligence, spirit, light—continues on into the next phase of forever. Death is an optical illusion because of our limited brain and sense organs. The Soul Proof book and documentary film shares the clinical, scientific, and empirical evidence that we each are timeless beings of energy/spirit/ consciousness. You now have more urgency to learn about the other 99.9% of who you and your child really are. In doing so, you’ll become a brighter light in the world.

2. Know that you will see each other again. 75% of bereaved family members have after-death contacts (ADCs) involving the usual or subtler senses. These can occur while awake or dreaming and have been proven to be more than imagination or wishful thinking. Stay alert for unexpected encounters, unexplainable events, lucid dreams, or alterations in electrical device functioning. And, you will definitely see each other again when you pass on to the next phase of forever and have a wonderful reunion. To remember this great news, avoid using phrases such as “death” or “I lost my child” and upgrade them to “my child transitioned/graduated/changed worlds.”

3. Realize your child was likely an evolved or “old” soul. Souls, whether housed in five or ninety-five year-old bodies, change worlds when they have completed their earthly missions. Your child didn’t have major lessons to learn, thus her brief visit to planet earth. Some children leave clues that their time on earth is short: they are more loving and compassionate than usual or have a sense of urgency to experience all they can while they can.

4. Create meaning for your departed loved ones life. One way to reenter the flow of life is to honor your child’s life in some way. Some parents help the needy in their child’s name while others start foundations or scholar-ships. Some help start a Helping Parents Heal group while others work to prevent needless injuries from drunk drivers, preventable accidents, or medical treatment abuses. The Ask Your Soul CD uses deep relaxation and can help you identify how to create more meaning to her passing and help you heal.

5. Understand that God didn’t take your child away. Avoid getting caught up in excess anger toward inaccurate religious teachings and personified images of God. We each are part of Source Energy right now. Archaic notions of a huge bearded guy in the sky who decides when and how someone crosses over are never useful, especially when a child is involved.

6. Be aware that your child’s passing helps you and others grow and learn. The old saying “That which does not kill me makes me stronger” is absolutely true. Just imagine how wise and compassionate you can become after struggling with such pain. The physical death of a child—much like near-death experiences, severe accidents, being in war, etc.—can awaken you to the vastness of life that usually escapes the five senses. You will be more motivated to find good answers to life’s toughest questions such as those in The Eleven Questions: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Life, Death, and Afterlife. Our and your answers can develop your spiritual muscles and help you remember who you really are and why you’re here.

7. Take optimal care of yourself. The physical death of a child is a huge stressor to the body and mind, especially if you are already out of balance due to post-pregnancy nutritional deficiencies or other causes. As discussed in Radiant Wellness, take time for rest, exercise, healthy diet, and stress reducing centering practices such as meditation, prayer, yoga, time in nature, gardening, playing with pets, etc. The Transformational Breath Work CD is a powerful way to release accumulated stress and old wounds.

8. Realize that death by any means is a ticket back Home. Passing on—whether by illness, accident, murder, or suicide—is a way to move on from this earth-experience. The soul/essence usually decides when physical death is timely, even during some suicides. Impulsive actions, intractable physical or mental pain, drug or alcohol abuse, nutritional imbalances and other factors can also cause a person to end his earth-experience. In any case, your loved one didn’t want to hurt or leave you. If strife preceded his passing, that was a sign of his pain and imbalance. Treasure your happy times together in the past and look forward to new ones in the future.

9. Consider the possibility that you and your child agreed, on a soul level, to participate in this scenario. Your infinite self likely entered into a soul contract to be part of this painful slice of life. Why? The short answer: to assist the plan of your child’s soul so you both could grow and serve others. This earth-experience is very much like a play or movie. Your child needed someone to play the role of parent, grandparent, sibling, etc. and you agreed. Your life may seem like a senseless nightmare right now, but I guarantee that someday—and you don’t have to wait until you die—you will see the big picture and understand the cosmic view of all this.

10. Assemble a holistic care team. Avoid prescription drugs whenever possible because of negative side-effects and potential for addiction. Find an integrative medical doctor who understands the power of natural healing and uses medications only when absolutely necessary. Consider one or more of the following to tune-up your body-mind: counseling, specific chiropractic, acupuncture, massage, and homeopathy. Energy balancing techniques and mediums may also be excellent resources. I recommendNutrition Response Testing to evaluate key organs—especially the brain and endocrine glands— and how to strengthen those with a real food diet and whole food Standard Process Visit www.unsinc.info to find the nearest practitioner.

11. Know that your child wants you to be happy now. Your child’s soul is very near and wants you to enjoy life again. She can feel your emotions and is urging you to awaken to the great news that life and love are eternal. Don’t blame yourself about anything you did or didn’t do or say since many details had to align for the timing and way your loved one transitioned. Enjoy your life fully on earth while you can. That will honor your child’s gifts and life and allow her to best experience the next page of life’s never-ending saga.

12. Benefit from loving support and wise information. This is the time to ask for help and lean on others. Consider joining a church or organization that offers spiritual wisdom, loving fellowship, and opportunities for service to others. Helping Parents Heal provides support, networking, an enlightened perspective, and personal transformation strategies. It discusses the afterlife evidence and all the hope and inspiration that accompany it. I’ve posted a series of articles that can help you survive and even thrive through this and other life challenges. They are posted on the home page of my website www.soulproof.com under Foundational Articles for Healing and Transforming.

So, here you are in a new moment and an important fork in your life’s road. Will you look for the silver linings to this cloud and bless yourself and others? Only you can choose how you will react to this difficult time. The old saying, “Two men looked through prison bars. One saw mud, the other stars,” reminds you that you can choose your perspective. I hope this information helps you to heal and transform yourself, others, and our world for the better. Let me know how I can help.

2013 Annual IANDS Conference 8/29-9/1/13


2013 Annual IANDS Conference

August 29th – September 1st, 2013

Sheraton Crystal City Hotel  |  Arlington, Virginia

 The loss of a loved one can bring overwhelming grief and deep questioning —

Where is my loved one?
How is my loved  one doing?
Will we ever be together again?
How can I go on?

Near-death experiences give a perspective on death that truly inspires hope and provides answers for those who  are grieving the loss of
their loved one.

Open to all. Registration now open. Follow the link for conference details, registration, featured speakers, workshops and more.


Dr. Eben Alexander talks about grief

ImageI’m on Dr. Eben Alexander’s mailing list, and received an email where he talks about his aunt who died last week.  He’s suffering from her loss, explaining that although he’s had a near-death experience with all the love, joy, peace and beauty it entailed, it does not make him immune to the human emotion of loss.  He talks about things we should think about if we’re experiencing grief now or in the future.  I’ve reprinted it below.

My Aunt Monk died last week. She was an Episcopalian preachers wife, and a loving light for all who knew her. And, yes, I am sad. My experience of truly knowing that consciousness is eternal does not make me immune to the human emotion of loss. Indeed, when a loved one dies, it is our loss on this side of the veil. I miss the tangible presence of her, the laughter and love, even the routine of life as she fulfilled her place on this earth so vividlyso alive.

Grief. It stops us in our tracks. But, it also hands us the opportunity, even demands, that we breathe, pay attention, and live in the present moment, appreciating everyone around us and all the beauty great and small. Living in this moment does not allow us to avoid reality, which is often our first instinct when dealing with bad news, whether the deep sorrow of death or a disappointment on the job or in a relationship. Would that we could be asleep and awaken from this bad dreamnot return to the sad reality of loss. But so it is, and it is universal. We have all felt loss, or will endure it at some time in our lives.

So, how do we move forward? First, honor the one who has crossed over, in whatever way is most fitting. For some, that might be sitting with the body for a period of time as the spirit makes its way onward. For others, it may be hosting a party to celebrate the remembrance of good times together. For one group of friends last week, it was leading the entire funeral procession through the drive-thru window at Burger King! And, in some traditions, it may be through wearing black for a full year after a family member dies. All these activities join friends and family together in shared acts of Love, and thats a great parting gift from our beloved. Good grief?

As time passes, for me, the awareness that consciousness (as soul, or spirit) survives bodily death gives me a sense of peace and comfort, and gives me the courage to offer sincere words of hope to others. In addition, having a daily practice of meditation or prayer renews my energy as it reconnects me to Source, or the Core. And, there is no substitute for the time-honored practices of expressing gratitude and giving of ourselves to others. Even the smallest expression or thought of gratitude can shift our energetic system and open a window into our soul. Even one act of doing something for someone else connects us, expands us and reminds us of how we are all interconnected, all part of a larger field of Love.

I hope you will pause to honor, feel, thank and love those around you when grief visits you next. I know there will be times in my life over the coming weeks when the busy-ness of travel and a packed schedule suddenly stops for a moment, and I will remember my loss; and I know that sadness, or grief, may hit me unexpectedly when I least expect it, just when I think Im over it. At that moment, I will sit with the feeling and invite the power of unconditional love to lead me into gratitude again, to remember what I now know about that beautiful place where my Lost loved ones now reside, and to feel connected through time and space to all those with whom I am honored to share love. 

I want to thank all of you for your continued messages of love and appreciation — know that I am trying to respond as efficiently as I can (though I am quite behind!). Please be patient if you have sent me something – I will try to get back to you. 

I am humbled by the effect my story has had on so many. I invite you to walk through your times of grieving knowing we are all always connected. 

With Love, 


Eben Alexander, MD
Lynchburg, VA
February 2, 2013